Walker's Belated 6th Birthday Party

Walker is getting older and starting to get invited to more and more birthday parties.  So when his 6th birthday approached - he began asking when his party was going to happen.  Of course, a December 30th birthday is tough....5 days after Christmas, winter break from school, flu season and overall just a tough time to have good attendance.

He knew he wanted to go rock climbing at a local gym, but finding the right time was the tricky part.  Fortunately he wanted a limited group of his close friends, and we were able to find an afternoon that worked for everyone late January.

Everyone met at Highpoint Climbing Gym, got their equipment and started climbing.  Walker claimed that he would be brave, and attempt tougher climbs and go higher, but he was still pretty timid.  Coincidentally, his closest two friends were the same way....content going about halfway up the wall.  They all still had fun, but climbing is tough work.

Pres, Lucy and Walker

Walker with his best buds, Beckham and Colton

Pres and the big kids got bored in the smaller gym, and went to seek MUCH taller walls in the big gym.  They are 3-4 stories high, but he and Lucy weren't afraid and went all the way to the top!  Bennett and Hen had fun too!  After tackling all of the ones with the safety ropes, they were pooped and came back to the easier walls.

B, L, Beckham, W, Alex, Colton, Emma, P and Dez

Hope Walker's birthday wishes come true!

Zero the Hero

Since the first day of kindergarten, Walker and his classmates have been learning to count to 100.  They all mastered it within a couple of months, counting by single digits, fives and tens.  The best part about counting though was how they were applying their skills... by counting how many days they were in school.  They had a celebration at 50 days of school with a 50's day party!

Each child was asked to dress in 50's attire, then during P.E. they did a sock hop, and for snack time, they enjoyed ice cream floats.  Walker had a great time at the celebration!

But the big celebration is when they make it to 100 days of school!  The kids had been counting up to it for weeks, and Walker was thrilled for the big day.  Rather than dress like a 100 year old person like some schools, Shades Cahaba asks the kids to decorate a t-shirt with 100 items.  Walker and I looked on pinterest, and decided on our design.  He did all of the painting, and counted all of the balloons, but I helped with the gluing.  The finished product looked great!

Once again the whole day was planned with photo booths, special treats and a visit from "Zero the Hero."  Walker came home with a big smile on his face, and said he had a blast.

W with Zero the Hero

Ms. Letson's Class

All of the kindergartners!

Happy 85th Myra!

Happy 85th Birthday to Myra!  Our family is so lucky to have her, and we loved being able to celebrate her at Mexico Lindo with the entire family.  We all love Mexican food, and we can make a reservation for our group....so it is super easy.  We had a great dinner, and then sang happy birthday and enjoyed assorted baby bites!

But we didn't leave before Bennett got Mimi to record a tiktok video about her birthday, and we got a family picture!

Goodbye Dad

2019 has been a sad year for the Banta family.  Dad continued to decline in health, where he eventually needed to be put in a memory care facility.  Then he started losing weight, several pounds every month.  As his weight melted away, so did his abilities....he started talking more quietly, then stopped altogether.  He used to walk the halls for hours every day initially, then he would shuffle and have to take frequent breaks, finally he was confined to a wheelchair because he didn't have the strength or memory to walk.  Anyone who knows my father, knows that he always had a voracious appetite, but eventually even that went away and during his final week, he didn't eat at all.

Dementia is horrible!  It is demeaning and frustrating for the patient, and extremely painful and sad for the family.  Our nightmare started five years ago when we started noticing changes with Dad.  Finally Mom and Dad agreed to see a doctor, and we got the dreaded diagnosis of Alzheimer's.  Dad immediately started receiving treatment, but after a year, his neurologist wanted to pull his driver's license and was convinced that he was much worse than any of us saw.  So I asked for some help from my physician friends here in Birmingham, and got Dad into the head of neurology at UAB. 

Things were pretty steady for a couple of years, but then we started noticing marked declines.  Dad ended up seeing another neurologist in Peoria, and had more scans done because the doctor thought it was something different.  He ended up with new diagnosis, Lewy Body Dementia, but sadly it can only be confirmed with an autopsy.  LBD, also known as dementia with Lewy bodies, is the second most common type of progressive dementia after Alzheimer's. Protein deposits, called Lewy bodies, develop in nerve cells in the brain regions involved in thinking, memory and movement (motor control).  

Lewy body dementia causes a progressive decline in mental abilities. People with Lewy body dementia may experience visual hallucinations and changes in alertness and attention (all things we were seeing with Dad). Other effects include Parkinson's disease-like signs and symptoms such as rigid muscles, slow movement and tremors (which we saw some of too near the end).  It tends to progress more quickly too, which may explain why Dad declined so rapidly that last year.  Of course, we will never know for sure, but whatever it was... it wiped away his mind, his smile, the light in his blue eyes, his contagious laugh, his years left in retirement to spend with his wife, kids, grandchildren and friends.

The whole family returned to Peoria over Thanksgiving.  It was the first time he had seen all of us together since the Christmas before.  Brian and I visited a couple of times during 2019, and my family was up at Easter, and Pres flew back with me over the summer, but I could tell he was thrilled to have us ALL there.  We didn't want to overwhelm him, so we came at different times, overlapping just for a short bit.  He smiled, he cried, he held our hands and hugged each of us.  It was a terrific, yet sad visit for all us.  I believe we all (Dad included) knew that we were saying our good-byes.

It was just a week or so after we left when Dad took a turn for the worse.  The month of December was pretty rough for him.  So much so, that I

July 2016

was very worried that Mom wouldn't even come down to Birmingham for Christmas.  Thankfully she did, but it was rough on her.  It was our first holiday without Dad and she was very concerned about him,

When Mom returned early on Dec 27, Dad was barely eating, slept most of the day and was basically out of it all day.  On Dec 28, Dad didn't even get out of bed.  Mom awaited the visit from Dad's hospice nurse for more clarity on his situation, but we weren't expecting to hear anything good.  After she visited on Dec 29, she did say that Dad was "transitioning, but didn't expect it to happen quickly" based on his vitals.  So Brian and I discussed things, and he elected to fly up the next day, and I would arrive on Dec 31st (so I could spend Walker's birthday with him).

Mom's surprise 70th birthday party - 2015

When I arrived, Brian drove me immediately to the nursing home where Dad lied in his bed and slept.  Mom was the devoted and loving wife that she has always been ....holding his hand, talking to him, and kissing him.  We all left later that afternoon to go home and enjoy our NYE dinner.  We all returned the following morning, Jan 1st.  As much as I wanted to be there, it is SOOOO hard to sit in a small, dark room and watch the man that raised me, supported me, and loved me through all of my ups and downs die.  We all knew it was happening, and it is depressing.  Brian and I took breaks, but Mom refused to leave.  She finally

Circa 1981

called at 9pm and asked us to pick her up, when she was just physically and emotionally drained.  We all returned bright and early Thursday, Jan 2nd.  The wonderful hospice nurse arrived, and couldn't even find Dad's pulse.  She said it was getting closer, but still didn't know when it would happen.  Brian and I left to take the dog on a walk, and within 30 minutes of our departure, we got the call.  

Brian immediately came and got me and Riley on Grandview Drive, and we headed straight to the nursing home.  Neither of us wanted to see Dad, but all of the staff came to pay their respects to my mother.  After we all said our good-byes and thanked the key staff that loved on my father (and mother), we left.  We were all emotionally exhausted, but we put everything into high gear.  Steve and the kids, along with Shannon, her parents and the kids were all arriving the following day.  Our extended family and close friends were arriving Saturday morning.  We finalized the obituary, and secured the funeral plans.  Though I never envisioned talking at my father's funeral, Brian and I decided that we had to.  

Always a handsome man....til the day he died.

Saturday night (the night before Dad's funeral), all of our family gathered at mom's for pizza and stories.  It was sad because Dad would have loved to have everyone together for story-telling.  I know he was there in spirit, as the whole weekend was exactly what he would have wanted.  The next day, Sunday, Jan 2nd, we got ready for the service. Mom, Brian, Shannon, Steve and I went to the church for the visitation.  We greeted so many people over those two hours, amazing really considering so many people vacation that week or are out of town for the winter months.

Then a group of only Mom and Dad's closest friends and family went into the sanctuary.  The service was beautiful.  Following it, we headed to CCP for dinner.  Again, it was perfect.  Kettie did a fantastic job with the flower arrangements, the room was intimate and the table U-shaped so we could all see one another and talk.  We all shared more stories, laughing and crying, about how much Dad meant to each of us.  To say I was drained at the end of the night is an understatement.

I love you Dad, and you will never be forgotten.  Brian and I will take care of Mom.  So glad that you are healed.  Until we meet again...

Christmas 2018