Getting Older Sucks, but Dementia is the Worst!

If you would have asked me 10-15 years ago what would have happened with my parent's health, there is NO WAY I would have guessed that my active, healthy father would be diagnosed with Alzheimer's, or later Lewy Body Dementia.  But sadly that is just what happened in 2014.  After we began noticing odd little things about my father, my mother finally took him to a physician and received the bad news.

At first, it wasn't a big deal.  Dad was himself, he just was forgetting some things.  But over the past year, his memory has gotten significantly worse.  He went from forgetting some names, to "losing" his words and basically unable to carry on a regular conversation.  He is more emotional, he is delusional, and having difficulty remembering how to do simple things like showering, dressing and more.

My mother has been his rock.  She covered for him in the early stages, and has loved and helped him every step of the way.  However, when he began waking up in the middle of the night (when my mother is in a dead sleep), we realized he needed to be kept safe.  This wasn't a decision that was made easily, or without A LOT of thought and tears.  My mom did her research and found a safe and clean care facility for him.  She toured it, met with the directors and met with previous patient's families, but she needed emotional help.

Brian and I flew back mid February for the dreaded task of helping get Dad situated in the facility.  It was definitely a difficult weekend for all of us, but we tried to make the best of it.  We flew in a day early so we could hang out with Dad in a familiar setting, his home.  We told stories, laughed, cried and just enjoyed our time together.

The next morning we took Dad to the place, took a tour and met some folks.  Dad quickly made friends with his new roomie, as well as other residents.  He was confused as to why we were leaving him, even after we repeatedly told him he was there to get help.  He was sad, we were sad.....and it ranked up there as one of the worst days of my life.  That night we went out to dinner at the country club, just the three of us, and people immediately noticed the void.  No one addressed it directly, but it came. That night we returned home, drank more wine and just reminisced.

It was a horrible weekend, but I have never seen my mother so strong.  For someone who has been on the receiving end of care her entire life, she sure surprised us with her unwavering devotion to my Dad, and his ability to stay home for as long as he could.  As much as Brian and I would like for them to move to Birmingham so we can assist with his care, and see them more often....that was not even a choice for my mom.  She loves Peoria, she loves her friends and as much as she loves us....she wants to stay.  So we will all just have to visit more often.

Roughing It

This weekend Preston and Steve accompanied Brian and William Tanner to their hunting camp about an hour outside of Birmingham.  They left Friday after work, and hit the grocery store on the way there.  Once they got there, they got the quick tour, and met some of the other guys and their children that were there as well.  Preston learned how to drive William's 4-wheeler and was instantly in heaven.

Supposedly the hunting camp is set up with small trailers along both sides of the road with a camp fire at the main cabin, and a large trail surrounding it where the kids can ride 4-wheelers and dirt bikes.  Since all of the riding toys have lights on them, the boys did this for hours that night.  The guys finally made the boys go to sleep around 11pm, but Steve and Brian stayed up WAY too late solving the world's problems.

You can tell he is smiling by his eyes!

Boys loved carrying the guns to the blind!

Sunset on Friday night

The next morning, they woke up the boys and got dressed to hunt.  Since it was a little cooler, they drove out to the blind where they sat for hours.  Sadly they didn't see anything but a few turkeys (which they couldn't shoot).  They came back for lunch and rested some before going back out later that afternoon.  During the down time, they made the boys chop some firewood. They also allowed them to shoot bb and pellet guns.  Once again, they enjoyed riding the 4-wheelers.

Round two of hunting wasn't any better than the first, but Preston didn't seem to mind.  He really just enjoyed hanging with the boys.  That evening, they did more of the same, and stayed up until 11pm.

Sunday morning, they were all exhausted after two late nights, but the guys got up with the alarm.  Since the boys were sleeping hard, they just enjoyed their coffee before waking them up.  They road the 4-wheelers out to the blind that morning and saw a doe and buck on their way, but they were too far away to shoot.  They waited patiently for more deer to show up, but none did.  During the wait, Preston took a nap (he doesn't sit still for long doing nothing without sleeping).

Brian finally called it, but set up a couple targets and taught Pres how to shoot the gun using the scope.  This was his first time actually firing a real gun, so he wanted him to have some instruction.  I don't know if it was beginner's luck, but he blew apart the can on his first try, and barely missed it on his second try.

They decided to leave on a high note, and left after they packed up everything.  Pres was on a high all afternoon from his experience, and claimed it was the "best weekend ever."  He said he would totally quit basketball if Steve would join the camp and take him every weekend!  He absolutely LOVED it, and his time with the Tanners.

HMS Winter Jam

Homewood Middle School holds a winter party every year, but this is Bennett's first dance and we were both excited!  Bennett and I went shopping several weeks ago, and found an adorable dress.  I knew it would be perfect with some black tights and booties, and she agreed.  I surprised her with mini feather earrings (her first dangling), and she was thrilled!  It totally completed her look.

We tried to schedule an appointment at Blo Hair Salon to get her hair done, but they were all full in the afternoon, so a friend of mine stepped in and helped out.  Marianne Siegel did a fantastic job, and really did exactly what Bennett wanted.  I put a little make-up on my pretty girl, and WOW....this is the final look!  Isn't she stunning?

B with Ada McElroy

About a month before the party, Cass Klimcak and I decided to host a pre and post party for any 6th grade girl.  We were trying to avoid exclusiveness, and also provide an opportunity for each girl to walk into the dance with someone.  We initially thought it might be about 50 girls, but as we kept hearing from people, we realized that number would be greater.  By the time the day rolled around, everything was in order, and the dressed up 6th graders kept on entering the Klimcak's house.  By the time we were ready to take a group picture, we had 85 girls signed in for the party!!

Over 85 young women - I couldn't even get them all in the picture!

Tate Robertson, Emerson Buck, Carmen Klimcak and B

Ada, Annie McBride and B at the dance

The middle school dance allowed the 6th graders to stay from 6-7:30 (the other grades each got an extra 30 minutes).  Following the party there, parents brought the girls back to our house for an ice cream party!  I thankfully had several moms who helped scoop ice cream and clean up, because I estimated that we had over 70 girls here!  The hour time limit was the only thing that saved me since I am little crazy about messes.  I still can't believe I agreed to host the after party with that many girls eating ice cream all over the first floor of our house.  THANK GOODNESS it was warmer, and I could open our deck because there were over 30 girls out there at one point.

Following the party, Bennett had three of her girlfriends stay the night (since Walker was at Mimi's and Steve and Preston were hunting).  It was the perfect night for company, and it all went very smoothly!

I'm so thankful for Bennett's sweet friends.  She has not gotten caught up in the dramatics of middle school (yet), and has friends that any mother would approve of!  Here's hoping middle school continues to go as smoothly as we have started!